Bullies can be either male or female but there are differences in the ways they intimidate their victims with boys tending to be more physically aggressive than girls. When girls bully, they use what is known as relational aggression, which means that rather than using physical aggression as an intimidation tactic; exclusion, gossip, rumors, and put-downs are used to intimidate the victim.
The 2004 comedy, Mean Girls is a perfect example of this type of aggression. This does not mean that boys won't use relational aggression or that girls don't physically bully, but there are tendencies of bullying that are specific to gender.
Like boys, girls form groups around a leader, but in girl groups, especially in cliques, girls tend to be in competition with one another. Since they are all on a quest to gain power, they will never truly trust one another. The leader of the clique doesn't want to lose her status to another member of the group, because they will now form around the new leader, which may make her feel inferior and irrelevant.
Female bullies rarely act alone. They have followers and members of their cliques that support their behavior. The clique tends to rally around the main bully in order to increase their social standing in the group, usually giving into peer pressure, even though they know the behavior is wrong.
Since the consequences can be severe, here are 10 healthy ways teen girls can respond to gossip and false rumors:
8 Talk About It
Being bullied can make a teen miserable, she may come home from school or wherever she's been bullied feeling excluded, targeted, and she may be scared. For teen girls, it can be cathartic to talk with mom since mothers can relate to the feeling of betrayal by girlfriends. Even though it might be difficult to hear that your child is being bullied, it's a good time for teens to learn valuable problem learning skills and the perfect opportunity to learn resilience.
7 It's Okay To Not Be Okay
Teens should definitely be able to voice their sense of betrayal. They have a right to expect better from their friends. Teen girls must know they are valuable, and they should be encouraged to use their own courage to find the appropriate tools to cope with their situation, which can also empower them.
6 Look for Alternatives In & Out Of School
In school, teen girls can try to find alternatives to their situations. They can try to make new friends or get involved in new activities that can expose them to new opportunities, which might possibly introduce them to new allies. They may find that they have more in common with students they never considered being friends with.
Like adults, kids can develop social ruts. When the ruts fail, it's time for a change and change can be a good thing. The goal is to find an outlet where teens can increase their confidence, widen their circle, and ultimately learn that they don't "need" the mean girls!
5 Be A Good Friend
If you can be trusted and dependable, others will want to rely on you. They know that they can trust you. These are the kinds of friendships that are meaningful and long-lasting.
4 Tell The Truth
A true friend will never tell you how fabulous you look when you have lipstick all over your teeth. A good friend will always be honest even when the truth is not always pleasant or glamorous. They are consistent and reliable.
3 When They Go Low, Go High
As Michelle Obama pointed famously said, when others behave poorly and try to drag you down to your level, take the high road. Don't start rumors in retaliation to falsehoods spread against you. Instead, take the high road. Sometimes the best response to rumors and lies is to remain silent.
2 Don't Be A Bully
It takes a lot of courage to protect someone who is being bullied, because of retaliation from cliques and the followers of bullies. Be brave. People tend to follow leaders who aren't afraid to go their own way.
1 Choose Your Friends Carefully
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If teens make honest, faithful friends in the first place, they will most likely avoid bullying and the consequences of false rumors and gossip. Of course, it's easier said than done since teen girls are at an impressionable age and popularity is important to them. What's more important, however, is to hang out with friends who care about you and others, and those who will never pressure you into doing something you'll regret later.
Girls experience sexual bullying more than boys and are likely to have false rumors and gossip spread about them whether or not the claims are true. For this reason, they are likely to be on the receiving end of sexual harassment or bullying from boys. Bullying from boys is different than when girls bully girls. It is important to understand the differences, because if bullying among girls is undetected the consequences can be devastating, lasting well into adulthood.
Sources: stopbullying.gov, patch.com, thejemfoundation.com, Fervr.net
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December 21, 2020 at 05:30AM
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Ways Teen Girls Can Respond To Gossip & False Rumors | Moms - Moms
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